I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
