We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
