how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
sex in a hospital.. check
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
