Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
