Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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