were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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