Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
