your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
