It's just like the Real World with babies
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
