When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
This is my gift to your gina
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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