Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
