Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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