awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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