my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
