He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
