We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
