did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
