Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
