Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Boobs speak an international language.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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