I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
