She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
