I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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