i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
