I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
