Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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