I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
