I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
