# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Randomize
