kristin has been a bad kristin
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
