Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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