They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
