i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
