Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize