Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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