Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
