i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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