Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
