it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
