He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
