She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
