So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
