I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
