you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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