I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
