Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
