OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
