I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
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