I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I love having hate sex.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
