I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
