Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
