The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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