We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
