shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
