wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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