ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
