I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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