even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
